With less than two weeks left in Russia I’m full of contradictory emotions. Some moments I find myself full of anticipation and excitement for my former life. When I think of the seeing the city skyline or the smell of my house, I feel like hopping on the plane immediately. Other moments I feel like I haven’t done enough to appreciate this city. I’m taking more pictures than usual to try to grasp some sort of tangibility of moments and memories, but I know that really all I can do is stop and actually feel myself here. Sometimes I feel pangs of homesickness and anticipatory feelings of missing Petersburg in the same minute, and it’s completely bizarre.
Among one of the most exceptional experiences I have had here was celebrating Easter (Pasha in Russian) on April 27th. I went to liturgy with Natasha, Misha and Tanya at a church that runs a summer camp that Natasha used to go to. The actual church was really small, but the parish was big so it had a wonderful family-like atmosphere. Although I only made it to 3 o’clock, the liturgy went on all night, as is custom.
The following day we had Easter dinner at Anna’s. Before going to Anna’s, I went with Misha and Tanya to a cemetery because it was the day of Misha’s mother’s death. As we went from grave to grave I couldn’t help but notice how incredibly well-attended they are. The majority have fresh flowers and burning candles, a sign that they are visited frequently, if not daily. Of course I’ve seen this in the states, but definitely not to this magnitude. Russians take memorialization very seriously, and this graveyard (one of the biggest in St. Petersburg) was no exception. The bright flowers and candles bring a much needed sense of life to a sorrowful place, and that really struck me.
This past weekend my program went on our final excursion to Pskov and Pushkinski Gori, two extremely old cities about 7 hours away from Petersburg. Pushkinski Gori is famous for being the location of the incredibly venerated poet Alexander Pushkin’s country estate and burial site, and Pskov is one of the oldest cities in Russia, founded in 903. No one on the program was particularly excited since it entailed a lot of time on the bus, especially because with less than two weeks left in Petersburg, every free moment becomes more valuable. I found it kind of sweet that when we could see the Petersburg skyline from the bus, one of my friends sighed and said, “We’re almost home.”
I’ve come to realize that there are very few moments in life where you feel completely at peace. For no particular reason, I felt a strong sense of harmony at a 12th century fortress/monastery outside of Pskov called Izborskaya. Feeling that sort of inexplicable bliss is something that is usually very fleeting and forgettable, but something about that specific place will remain with me for a long time.
And finally, some politics. Today is the presidential inauguration of Medvedev. With his hand upon the Russian Constitution, about an hour ago, he recited:
“I swear in exercising the powers of the President of the Russian Federation to respect and safeguard the rights and freedoms of man and citizen, to observe and protect the Constitution of the Russian Federation, to protect the sovereignty and independence, security and integrity of the State, to faithfully serve the people.”
And Putin was in his shadow, but certainly not for long.
Cemeteries are a place of life and not death, a place of expectation, the care of these places comes from a lack of fear and a proper understanding of what death is, in the West, an opposite understanding and culture exists.
Allegra:
Thanks! Love the Mednyi Vsadnik!
It has been a pleasure reading your blogs. Now we are all looking for your return. I am grateful to your school and your parents for making it possible for you to experience Russia.